I haven’t blogged since this summer. I’d like to say it wasn’t intentional, but it was. The beginning of the school year was hard – very hard, actually – for me. As thankful as I am that we are a 1:1 school, this advantage sometimes feels like a curse. The first few weeks of school were riddled with stress and technology failure, not to mention we had to be closed for 2 1/2 weeks! Not only did I have to give out 1,000 Chromebooks, I was forced to give our rising 9th graders the same devices they had in middle school. This meant hours of lugging heavy storage containers all around the library and lifting device after device as we had to alphabetize 300 of them. As if this wasn’t enough, we have major technology malfunctions; everything from updates not pushing through automatically to massive wifi failure. And the hardest part, people automatically look to the library for answers, and I had none.
When I think about the beginning of the school year and all of the stress I was under, I remember going home multiple nights in tears because I felt like I wasn’t serving my students and colleagues in the way which they deserve. Even though most of what was going on was out of my control, I internalized it all and blamed myself. This is why I didn’t blog – because I didn’t have anything good to say.
Now, looking back, I realize that in the midst of all of that bad, there were so many positive things happening. Teachers came to my aid, asking if there was any way they could help and praising me for my efforts. Students came to me repeatedly asking when the library would open because it’s their favorite place to be. My colleagues were excited to work with me to use technology and teaching practices that were new to them. In short, because I was so wrapped up in what’s wrong, I neglected to focus on all the things that were going right. The most important of these being that I get to go to work everyday and teach 1,100 awesome students who matter.
Call me idealistic, but I still want to change the world. And if it means that I have to have 10 bad days for every 1 good day, I’ll take those odds.